A day withought laughter is a day wasted. - Thanks for calling Bally Total Shitness err I mean Fitness

22nd June 2009

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Thanks for calling Bally Total Shitness err I mean Fitness

I work at Bally at the front desk. Sometimes my friend Nick and I really answer the phone like that, no one ever catches it. I found my roommate, Dave, on craigsist…I know, I know, sketch but I was in FL and couldn’t look at apts b4 I moved here and he is prob the nicest guy I’ve ever met. No worries- I made sure he wasn’t a creeper b4 I decided to move in and When he sneaks in my room and rapes me at night, I barely wake up so it’s all good in the hood. jk obvi. Anywho relevance is that Dave is a personal Trainer at Bally and got me the job the day I moved in. Not exactlty the job I was goin for but I was planning on searching for job for a while so it worked out. Problem, I only make 9 dollhairs an hour which was conveniently left out during the hiring process go fig. Fun job but the fact that the past 3 days the roof has been leaking so bad that the whole place reaks of mold and there are litterally 15 buckets strewn around to catch the leaks makes me want out. When people come in looking to join I am mortified but hey 30 dollhairs/ month for a gym membership keeps no one away, even the homeless people who live in the locker rooms…not a joke.

4 outta 5 of the guys that sell memberships are outta shape. Would you buy a membership from an overweight middle aged man? Hell even I feel like I need to be in way better shape since I work in a gym and when people ask me where I work I feel like hey judge me instantly, “Her ass is huge, how did she get hired at a gym?” Especially when you tell little cunty ass miss america pagent girl that is at one of your good friends bday parties who looks you from head to toe after you tell her you work at Bally, then makes a stink eye face then talks about herself all night…I wouldn’t know how that feels though. I hope you make it to miss america and break your face on stage :)

I live in “Boystown” pretty much so there are many a gay at Bally. They meet up there to hook up. The guys on staff have to do what they call “Boner Checks” in the bathroom every hour to regulate. I love it and always am asking the boner count.Being a theater major, the gays make me feel at home. My favorite wears bedazled sneakers hot shorts and a tight tank and runs on the same treadmill everyday, usually entering carrying his hello kitty tote. Another fave is the fine gentleman who explores his sexuality on the pool deck. He is prob in his late fifties, very hairy and has quite the impressive belly. He lies next to the pool wearing a string bikini and caresses his legs and embraces his woman inside. Some people have complained but my bosses say he is technically wearing more than some of the men who wear speedos so no harm, no foul.

I’m looking for a second job next week bc i’m runnin outta money but hopefully I’ll be able to keep Bally in my life a couple days a week -there is just too much character in that place to leave for good.